...and I must admit I'm a little nervous. Which is strange for me because I hardly ever get nervous about anything. I've been on plenty of job interviews, plenty of performance stages, even a few auditions in my lifetime and nerves have yet to ever get the best of me. But here I sit, excited and hopeful and yes, even nervous about what is going to happen a little less than 12 hours from now.
It was a little over two months ago when I was sitting at my computer saying a prayer for one of my online scrappy friends's father who was in the hospital. I have to admit right here & now that I've never been one to pray all that often. Most times I'll admit I felt foolish, unsure of what to say and not even sure if God was listening when I did pray. I sincerely wanted him to hear me this time though, so I decided to say a prayer and lift up her father's name. While I was doing that, I came to the realization that I too needed Jesus in my life. I broke down on the spot as tears began falling from my eyes and admitted that I didn't want to be alone anymore & that I wanted to know Him. Suddenly out of nowhere this unbelievable calming presence came over me and a thought was brought to the forefront of my mind to get up and go into the next room and ask my fiancee Paul, (who is a Christian), to pray with me. Realizing that this must be the Lord speaking to me, trying to help me understand that I had been heard, I obeyed. I went and told Paul what had just happened and asked him to read me some scriptures from his Bible about how to pray for forgiveness and salvation and how to accept Christ as my Savior. Afterward, he prayed the most beautiful, heartfelt prayer that I've ever heard in my life, for me. Then I prayed my own prayer of Salvation and accepted Jesus Christ into my heart.
The next day I woke up with this craving for Jesus that I've never had before. It's as if my whole life I've been blind and now I can see. Like I've been looking at the world through a filter and now I can see the whole thing. The closer I get to Him the more things are being revealed to me and the more and more aware I become of His presence. About 12 hours from now I am going to be Baptized and I can hardly wait! What's even more awesome is the church I go to does them every couple of months or so right down on the beach in addition to performing them before Sunday's service and that's where today's baptism's are being held. I've been looking forward to this day for weeks. I'm so excited I don't know how I'm gonna be able to sleep and I just got off work 3 hours ago! lol
It's so GREAT not to be without God anymore and I look forward to a lifetime of learning, praising and serving Him!